All sneakerheads will know the exquisite pain of buying a glorious pair of shoes, only to be too scared of dirt and scuffs to actually wear them outside the house. You want to show off those fresh kicks, but you just can’t risk it. It’s a gross, grimy world out there, with the Tube, the streets, and sticky floors at pubs just waiting to wreck that pristine white leather. And so your shoes sit in waiting. They are held aloft for an Instagram shot, but that is all. A sad fate. But wait. There might be a solution. Firebox has unveiled a new creation called the shoe condom. They’re exactly what they sound like – condoms, but for your feet; little rubber shields to pull over the trainers you’re so desperate to protect. Theyre transparent, so you can still see the branding of your precious shoes (Picture: Firebox) No, we’re not talking about those little blue bags you get at the local swimming pool. These are transparent and subtle, so you can still get the clout of wearing the latest Yeezy Boost without risking water stains on the exterior. Could you just wear some shoes you don’t mind getting dirty? Absolutely. But where’s the fun in that? Firebox markets their shoe condoms for festivals, where shoes go to die, but we reckon these will work for any outing. Never again will your precious trainers need to touch the filthy streets of London. The shoe condoms are designed to protect your sneakers from dirt, water, and grime (Picture: Firebox) The condoms are waterproof, dirtproof, machine washable, dishwasher safe, and have gripping on the bottom to stop you sliding around. You slide them on for whatever messy occassion, slip them off, give them a wash, then save for the next time (a quick disclaimer here: this same method is not appropriate for actual condoms. Only shoe condoms). The production description reads: ‘You may be keeping your cock safe, but what about your creps? Once you’re done, you can roll off the shoe condoms and pop them in the wash (Picture: Firebox) ‘There’s antibiotics for super-gonorrhoea, but there’s no remedy for getting mud caked into every nook and cranny of your Fila Disruptors. ‘Or worse – try getting those precious Air Max 97s even half as vibrant as they were when fresh outta the box. Impossible. Damn that fabric outer.
‘Luckily these ingenious Shoe Condoms will keep you from ruining your beloved shoes. Whether at a festival or just doing a particularly muddy commute, these water-proof, dirt-proof keep your feet safe from chlamydia anything life can throw at ‘em.
‘Endlessly reusable, they’re also machine washable AND dishwasher proof, so you’ve got no excuses for getting your glittery Glastonbury gladiators or job interview brogues in a dirty state.’